Friday, May 16, 2008

Friendship or whatever………

What is the definition of friendship? How do we know if someone is taking advantage of our friendship? There are friends whom you’ll do anything for. But the question, how far will you go? Before you realize that the person is using you in the name of friendship.
I still consider my school friends as my very close friends, like my 3 AM friends. A 3 AM friend is someone whom you can call like anytime of the day or night and talk about your problem and that person will be there for you, no matter what. It does not have to be that you have to be in touch with them on a day to day basis.
Now I wonder whether I feel like that about my school friends due to the lack of contact. I mean I do mail them, chat with them, but we don’t meet on a daily basis and she doesn’t know what’s happening with me on a day to day basis.
After school, I have met a lot of people in college, at work , some of them are friends and some of them are acquaintances. But the definition of a friend is different now. My personal experience is that whenever I tried very hard or did eventually make a good friend, someone I can share my day to day personal issues with ( not like a boyfriend or something), they end up hurting me or the friendship hardly lasts. Its either I hurt them or they hurt me and the friendship is tainted. I was struggling to make friends similar to the ones in school but I was unable to. It is that once you grow older, the innocence is no longer there, everyone’s automatically thinking of making a contact (someone they will have some use in the future) but not a friend. I am not generalizing it, there are exceptions in everything. But for me personally, I have had so many bad experiences, that I keep a distance with everyone. I just create a wall around me not allowing anyone to hurt me. It’s easier that way than opening up and getting hurt.
Sometimes I feel it’s just me that I have had such rotten luck with friends. I do not know how to judge when it comes to making a friend. Creating this emotional wall has helped me not get hurt. I’m much happier now. It’s a bad world out there, where everyone has a selfish motive for everything. I’m just trying to take the positive out of everything and trying to enjoy life.