Sunday, January 24, 2010

The World's Shortest Fairy Tale


PR and I had gone for a mini honeymoon to a lakeside resort. It was an awesome place but the best bit among many that we liked were the place mats in the restaurant. Each one had jokes, funny pics and interesting facts. Every meal, PR & I would choose a different table so we could read the place mats.

I found the below story on one such place mat.

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said "NO!!"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the heck she wanted, never argued, traveled more, had many boyfriends, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore lacy lingerie that went up her butt, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants, and burped and swore all the time.


THE END :)

I found it hilarious. I was laughing and mid-way I stopped and realized that I'm never gona live happily ever after. I just got married 2 days ago and will never have the life mentioned above. :(

For those of you girls out there planning to marry, think twice.. I'm giving you a head's up.
I don't mean to brag (maybe just a little) - I WON THE CONTEST on Lauren's Thoughts.. Thank you so much girl!!! Yay!! I'm so excited.

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Washing Machine


I have been living alone for almost 10 years now and in all these years I have never ever operated the washing machine. I think I have some kind of phobia towards it. Its only the washing machine, I have no problem with any other machinery cuz I have done carpentry, drilling, filing and so on. I’m not bragging. I just had to do all this crap to get an engineering degree. :) I don’t know how it has helped me in my career cuz all I do is sit in front of a computer.

Coming back to the washing machine, I would promptly put in the clothes and the detergent in the allocated slot. I know all I have to do is to turn the knob to the appropriate settings and voila it’s all set to go. I have seen other people do it like gazillions of times but something in me stops from doing it. I would wait for someone to turn the knob for me. People thought I was retarded. Some even wondered how I graduated engineering. People automatically assume that since you are engineer you know how to operate everything which is all BS. Take me for example. :D

I never told PR about my phobia. After we got married and settled in, we had like tones of clothes to wash and he was like ‘Use the machine!!’ I started panicking and wondering how to break it to him. Would he still want to be with me after hearing my so called problemo? Thankfully he didn’t laugh on my face when I told him but did hear some guffaws once I left the room.

He stood by me and guided me into turning the knob.(It sounded so much better in my head!!) It might sound lame to you guys but it was a big moment in my life. I was no longer afraid of the washing machine. I was so excited that I just start washing clothes one after the other to the point that we were late for a lunch out with friends. PR was so pissed and kind of wished that he did not introduce me to the world of not-so-scary washing machine knobs.

Now I love the washing machine. It’s become my new best friend but to my dismay his servant has taken an offense to me washing the clothes. It’s as if I look a part of her identity. She’s super upset that I washed clothes which was her territory. I wash clothes (which has already been washed by her) in the night so I can have my time with my new friend, WM. :P

PR thinks I’m just plain weird and does not get involved in this matter anymore.

Speaking of washing clothes, a day after we got married, PR ended up with no clean undies and socks, so I decide to hand wash his clothes. PR was cool with walking around in his used undies till they tear out.(Men I tell you!!) My bro comes searching for me and he & PR have the following conversation

Bro: Where’s Sonia?
PR: She’s washing my clothes.
Bro (to me): What you washing?
ME: PR’s undies
Bro: Woah!! (turning to PR) She washes your undies??!!??
PR: Voluntarily dude! I didn’t even ask her.
Bro: Wives are supposed to do this.?? Cool.. When do I get married?

Mind you my bro is only 14 and he wants to get married so his wife can wash his undies!!!!

On a side note – Lauren, who is awesome, from
Lauren’s Thoughts is having her first blog contest. She’s giving out an awesome bag.
I’m asking my awesome readers to check her blog out and follow her if you think she’s awesome. Show her some blogging love people....

Monday, January 18, 2010

Hair Cut Day!!!

Today is Anu's birthday, a very very sweet friend of mine.

Happy Birthday Baby!!

My gift for her was a hair cut. I love gifting hair cuts to friends cuz its awesome. Its like a makeover. I love getting haircuts....

It was supposed to be a girls out thingy but somehow boys ended up being there.. They were supposed to drop us at the salon and scoot but they were curious to know what happens at a parlor and stayed on.

They sat on(literally) to take really juvenile pictures like the one below

We were discussing on the length for my new haircut and decided on just above the breasts. While we were doing this, PR was like 'Click!! Nice!! Girls touching boobs or near there region' (Eyes Rolling!!!)

Then they ran around clicking pictures of the pictures of L'Oreal models. An example would be the one below
Their reason for taking this photo is that 'She's smoking HOT!!'

You would think they would stop with this and quietly sit in one corner and watch a show on Animal Planet. Some weird show was going on about the World's ugliest animals. They take pics of that too such as this.This happens to be the World's Ugliest Parrot

Then they go showing everyone this picture. Meanwhile the hairstylist is trying to control his laughter while cutting my hair. Half of the time his eyes were on them than on my precious hair. I was huffing and puffing inside, PR would not have got any action for a very long time if my hair cut got screwed up or something.

Luckily for PR, the hair cut came out quite well. Anu & myself were quite pleased with ourselves. Oh Crap!! I just realized that I never wished Anu today. That's it Folks!! I'll catch you later.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Paranormal Experience

I have been hearing a lot about the movie, Paranormal Activity, about how it’s the scariest, creepiest movie made like ever.

Let me tell you I’m shit scared of horror flicks. According to me such movies should never be made. I mean movies are supposed to make you forget your troubles and not scare the shit out of you.

The last so called remotely horror movie that I saw was ‘Gothika’ which scared the crap out of me. For most of you, the movie might not be scary, well for me it was, cuz once I go back home and hit the sack, instead of sleeping I’ll imagine as to how the movie could have been made even more scarier and literally piss in my pants.

When a couple of friends suggested that we watch this movie, I was totally against it but was eventually vetoed out :( . We all met up at a friend’s place and watched the movie. The girls (Anu & I) were sitting sideways, hiding behind sheets and watching the movie. If anything happens, we cover ourselves and ask the boys as to what happened. The boys being boys, exaggerate and make all these eerie noises which was so not funny.

To distract ourselves(more so the boys), Anu had a ‘Letters to Penthouse’ book and I had a Playboy magazine open so that we won’t have to watch the stupid, shitty, scary movie. We miserably failed!! The boys would rather watch the scary movie than look at pictures of a bunch of naked (HOT!) women. Apparently naked women don’t entice them anymore. The Boys suck!!

I couldn’t sleep that night. I had a nightmare where I was sitting on the floor and rocking back and forth (For those of you who have not seen the movie, I think I just spoiled it for you). I woke up and told PR that I’m scared and he hugged me and told me not to worry and to go back to sleep and was patting me on my back like I was a small baby who needs to be patted to fall asleep (which I found so cute :) ) The next morning, I tell PR what happened & he does not remember a single thing. He’s like ‘I did that.. I actually patted you off to sleep. I have never patted anyone even for fun. Why would I do that?’

The following night, I slept off early cuz I-didn’t-get-any-sleep-previous-night-cuz-of-the-stupid-nightmare whereas PR was awake and browsing online. When I woke up the morning, I see the bathroom light on and I’m all creeped out. We never leave the bathroom light on. At this point, I’m hyperventilating and I wake up PR.

ME: PR, wake up, wake up (shaking PR)
PR: groans and turns to the other side
ME: WAKE UP!!!
PR: (jumps up startled) Wha.. What??
ME: Did you leave the bathroom light on?
PR: Yes I did. Now can I go back to sleep?
ME: (Sighs in relief!!) Why?
PR: Cuz you were talking in your sleep in Mal (my mother tongue, which PR does not understand) and it freaked me out.
ME: OH!! So what did I say?
PR: How will I know? I didn’t understand anything.
ME: Next time, record what I say?
PR: Next time????
ME: :D

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Married!!!!!

First of all, Happy New Year to all of you out there..

I know I’m 13 days too late in my wishes but better late than never. I’m so sorry for neglecting my blog for so long but I do have a legitimate reason – I got Married!!

Yup!! PR and I finally tied the knot on 02 01 2010. PR chose the date and you can see why.

Preparations for the wedding had been going on for a year and the D day finally arrived. I spend three hours at the parlor to get ready and it took PR all of 5 minutes.


My sister, who was the Maid of Honor, was looking very elegant and beautiful. My brother, who does not look like this anymore, got a Mohawk hairstyle and colored his hair. I was so flabbergasted to see him like that. If he were not my brother, I would have ditched PR and got married to him instead.

I had the most prettiest bridesmaids dressed in my favorite color. They were stunning. Check them out in this pic.

PR and I looked quite dashing that day, if I say so myself.






We enter the church and the priest starts of ‘We are here to witness the marriage of Alexander and Mary’. PR & I have this quizzical look and were like ‘Are we at the right wedding?’. It took us a couple of minutes to realize that he was referring to us by our church names which was funny cuz my church name is Maria and not Mary. Technically speaking Alexander and Mary got married whereas PR & I are having a live in relationship which is what PR wanted from the beginning. The food apparently was awesome though we never got a chance to eat cuz we were too busy saying ‘Hellos’ and ‘Thank Yous’ to the guests who were over 600 in number. I had people coming up to me and asking me ‘Do you remember me? When you were a small girl…’ Come on it’s my wedding and I’m meeting zillions of people and you expect to remember when you met me as a 1 month old baby. Jeez!! Some people I tell you…
We had an awesome after party on the roof top of a hotel with just friends and no family. That is when we had all the fun. The most embarrassing incidents of pretty much everyone was shared including PR’s association with the color Pink and my ‘I’m not Dlunk’ story which is going to be a different blog post all together.
The next day we all went boating on the Kumarakom backwaters. It was the first time to Kerala for most of our friends so the lush greenery and backwater was like heaven on earth. In fact the motto of Kerala tourism is Kerala – God’s own country. I am basically from there don’t see anything great about it but apparently it’s a big thing. It’s so big that even Britney Spears spend her New Year’s in Kumarakom. They voraciously ate the famous backwater fish – Pearl Spot and prawns. We saw the person cutting the fish. The fish is still alive even after removing the scales and slashes made on it. The fish is just twitching away. I know it sounds gruesome and I might sound heartless but it was yummy. For our own peace of mind, it was a good thing we saw it after we had finished eating.



So after all the fun, the friends went back home and Alex & Mary lived happily ever after.

Whereas for PR & I, we are having an illicit relationship. Sssshhh!! Don’t tell anyone!! :D

I love PR's expression in this pic. Its like 'WTF is the flower doing next to me' :)