Monday, February 8, 2010

I’m not D’lunk – Sonia ‘under-the-influence’ Story

PR has finally finished his version of my 'I'm not Dlunk!!' story

My version - It never happened. Its all in PR's head

So readers go ahead enjoy the world of PR's imgagnation..



Hello All,

I am the one most of you know as PR though some priest at my wedding preferred to call me Alexander. But that’s another story. This is my first guest appearance in Sonia’s blog and I have to say I am quite excited. As a husband I feel it is my duty to support and encourage my wife in activities of interest such as blogging for example. Also Sonia strongly suggested that it would be in my best interest to write a post on her blog, but mainly I am doing this out of love… Love the fact that I can tease her in front of a wider audience who knows not how strange this creature be!!

The “I’m not D’lunk” story happened way back in our second year of college. It started like any normal day, with a continuation of the fight we were having the previous night. See Sonia and I like most couples in post-honeymoon-period relationships used to have occasional fights. Lot of good that did… coz seven years later we still got married… talk about lack of imagination! Geez... Anyway, as Sonia did not get much sleep the previous night and also had the flu coming on, took some medicine to feel better. See by the time classes started we had managed to sort out our differences and decided to head out for a day of togetherness. Not wanting her cold or lack of sleep to dampen our outing, Sonia decided to take a small collection of OTC drugs and cough syrups that different girls in her hostel brought for her.

When I did see her she looked lovely. Those glazed eyes, broad (and a blank) smile and slight wobble in her step made her look like an intoxicated page 3 celebrity. By this time a fledgling couple had heard of our plan to skip college and head to a mall in the city and decided to join us. I was glad to know there were coming along as something about Sonia’s demeanor seemed a bit off and I knew I could count on them for help (the guy was my classmate and the girl was Sonia’s roommate). The long bus journey from our college was quite uneventful (Sonia fell asleep on my shoulder). The other couple was deep in conversation and nearly missed the stop. Our destination was a coffee shop in a local mall which we knew would be empty. Folks it was mid-day on a work week so that made it a perfect place for young couples as ourselves to playing truant.

On entering the mall I noticed that Sonia was walking a parabolic path to the entrance and any effort to change her direction only led to a total direction reversal. To put it simply she was walking in circles with me trying unsuccessfully to delicately guide her towards the door. To an onlooker it must have looked like the blind leading the blind. By this time our fellow couple-in-crime had found a nice cozy two- seater and were busy getting lost in each other’s eyes or something. Eventually I got Sonia through the door and to a seat in the middle of the coffee shop. Now the name of the place was Coffee Day but for some reason Sonia insisted that it was Qwiky’s coffee shop. My throwing logic at her by pointing to the Coffee Day menu did little to dampen her insistence. She called the waiter, took the menu and politely informed him that there was a Coffee Day menu on the table and that leaving it around may confuse customers. She also asked him to bring the ‘actual’ (in her mind - Qwiky’s) menu. The waiter, clearly trained to deal with all manner of customers obediently took the menu from Sonia and made sure never to return to our table.

By this point my amusement turned to genuine concern and I asked her what brought on the ‘spaced-out’ behavior. She looked at me with the look of utter cluelessness, kinda the look I give when my math teacher asked me to solve the problem on the board. Then she carried on humming to herself, accompanied by alternating between head bobbing and swaying.

During mid-sway she noticed that the rather respectable looking gentleman sitting at the opposite table just got his order and without any hesitation and quite vocally said “that %&#$ old man got served before me!! But how?? I’m so much prettier”. Hearing which the man buried his face in the newspaper while I tried to pacify my modest princess. Now I knew something was wrong, Sonia is always very polite (to others – I however do not get the same luxury). She seemed very dazed, like she was drunk. Drunk, Sonia… Can’t be.. She hates alcohol.. So I asked her.. “Sonia you sound like you are drunk, what did you have in the morning before meeting me?” To which she said” I’m not D’lunk”

I’m not Dlunk!!! No that was not a good sign. I asked her again and our conversation went a bit like this:-

PR: Sonia, sweetie.. what did you have in the morning?

SST: Nothing :)

PR: No Sonia, did you drink anything in the morning?

SST: Water :)

PR: Oh, ok that’s ok then.. for a sec I was worried that you..

SST: Water with the tablets :)

PR: Tablets!! What tablets??

SST: Tablets for headache :)

PR: O…

SST: and one for the fever

SST: and one more for the flu

SST: and some cough syrup

SST: and some natural cough syrup.

SST: so no time for breakfast.

PR: (slight panic) Err.. (ok a bit more than slight panic) Don’t go anywhere (like I really needed to say that).

I went and got her some water, ordered a sandwich, got her some juice etc., all the while our couple-partners in crime were totally ignoring us. An hour passed and Sonia settled down. She was still talking like a 4 –year-old but at least it was not too loud and hardly had any explicit language. (man that girl can swear). Thinking it was safe for me to go to the loo I left Sonia in the care of my two trusty friends and told them not to let her out of their sight.

The loo was a floor below and was empty. No sooner had I finished when a familiar female voice greeted me from the shadows. Turning around (but not entirely so as to avoid exposing myself) I saw to my horror Sonia’s head sticking through the Men’s Room door. Turning back to make ‘final adjustments’ I turned around again only to find her gone. Rushing out I was greeted by an empty corridor. Sonia was nowhere to be seen. The thought that ran through my head – Did I imagine it?? Am I d’lunk? Sonia is probably sitting quietly in the coffee shop awaiting my return. No sooner had those thoughts entered my mind when I heard the voice again but this time it was echoing and appeared to come from the men’s loo… instinctively I leapt in only to find Sonia hiding in one of the stalls. On seeing me she says “ok now you go hide” and closes her eyes... Hide and seek … really ... that’s what she thought we were doing...

Grabbing her arm I walked her towards the loo entrance, only to notice the mall security doing their rounds. Realizing that I was in a compromising position I dragged Sonia back into the loo and told her to stay quiet coz it was the other couple’s turn to search for us and we needed to be as quiet as possible. Then I put her in a stall and closed the door. Standing at the entrance I pretended that I was washing my hands while keeping an eye on the security patrol as well as Sonia’s stall door. Finally the security moved to the next floor and I got Sonia out of there. We rushed back to the coffee shop only to find that our friends did not even notice Sonia leave. They asked me what happened to which I said: - I’m not D’lunk.