Monday, May 3, 2010

An Auto Ride

The other day I left work early, took a metro train, got down at the nearest station to home.


I could have walked home from there but me being the lazy bum decided to take an auto. I got into an auto where initially the driver wanted to charge me 40 bucks for a 10 buck ride. I bargained. He cribbed. Finally brought it down to 20 bucks.


Half way through the ride, he suddenly stops the vehicle, gets out to pick up something from the middle of the road.


He comes up to me with something that looks like a bunch of TNT sticks. I kid you not!!


AD(Auto Driver):‘Madam, I think it’s a bomb!!’

ME (in my mind): ‘Why the freaking beeeep are you bringing it to me you psycho!?’

ME: Please keep it away from me, whatever the hell it is.


AD starts to prod and pluck on the contraption.


I start to hyperventilate. I calm myself by thinking of shoes especially Jimmy Choos. Then I realize I might die right now and would never own a pair of Jimmy Choos ever in my life. I start to hyperventilate again.


AD: Who do you think they are trying to kill? There are no politicians or movie stars living in this area.


ME: Do we really have to have this conversation? Does it matter who they want to kill? I mean REALLY is this relevant? I don’t want to die you moron. Throw … No No I mean gently place the so-called bomb on the sidewalks and drop me home..


What the dimwit did next was beyond my imagination. He shouts ‘Kabooom!’ and throws it to the sidewalk. I’m not making this shit up. He actually did that.


I started to scream and on seeing me he also started to scream. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. People from the nearby houses came out to see what the commotion was. Then we stopped to scream and realized nothing happened and that we are still alive and kicking. AD looked stupid and I was super pissed at him for making me look like a fool.

I told him to get his sorry ass back in the auto and drop me to my destination.