Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Fifty Shades of WHAT!!!

Disclaimer: This post contains material that is of adult content. So anyone below 18yrs should absolutely read this post. (I'm trying reverse psychology and seeing if that works!!! )

I first came to know about the Fifty Shades of books from my baby sister. All she told me was that it was a fan fiction of the Twilight series in adult content.
Yes I have publicly admitted in this blog that I was a huge fan of Twilight and was part of Team Edward. FYI!! I'm totally ashamed of that due to which I didn't bother with the Fifty shades series.

I had gone to London as part of work and everyday while travelling to & from to office, I would see at least 2-3 women reading the Fifty shades book(the brave ones) and the remaining were reading from their ipads.  I realize that the book was huge in London.

I had asked my cousin about the books and she was like 'Everyone I know have read this book!! You have to read the book' and actually loaned me her iphone so I could read the book.

I decided to give it a shot and read the first few chapters of the book and my expression was exactly like this.

I called her up and was like 'WTF is he doing to her?? Why is he handcuffing her?? There is no story at all. There is ABSOLUTELY no story!!' Before I could carry on she stopped me and said 'First of all, you are reading the third book, so stop reading that immediately!!'

I listened to her and started reading the proper book and I went something like this.

I kind of understood why women were addicted to it. Honestly speaking and I'm not ashamed to say it but I got hooked on to the book. It was more of like an education for me with what kind of stuff people do and like.. More of like an eye-opener.

I read somewhere that they are making a movie of it and thinking of casting Ryan Gosling.

I mean how can I- not-continue-reading this book without picturing this GORGEOUS man!! He's so the Christian Grey!!

I told PR that I was reading this book and he was like 'What is so great about this book??' I actually made him read one entire page out loud and it was hilarious.

He was like, 'Why don't you just watch porn?? Its so much easier than reading and then imagining it. Watching porn would take less effort and time!!'

Click to view the funny note!!
PR read that this book series has been classified Mummy Porn!! I don't even know what that even means and who came with that classification.

I have this annoying habit for forgetting my best friend's birthday and wishing her either one day before or after her birthday. I have been doing that for years!! In spite of having FB , I still managed to forget her birthday this year also.

To make up for it, I decided to gift her the Fifty shades trilogy. I go to the bookshop and ask one of the attendants for the book.  A couple of heads bob up from different aisles to look at the woman who has brazenly asked for the "Fifty Shades" book. The guy brings the first book and I go 'OH no!!  I want the entire collection' I heard someone cough and another person went 'OH!!'

So my verdict for this book. Its a one time read if you can stomach the stuff that she has written.
 For others who are not planning just check out the reading of this book by Gilbert Gottfried!! It is hilarious and bloody brilliant!! For those who have read the book, all the fantasies will go down the drain!!

If you like my blog, like my FB page - RandomThoughtsJotted
All pics courtesy of Google!!

Friday, August 31, 2012

The 'Just Married Please Excuse' Contest

So I got a ping from a friend of mine, Shravanti, saying that I should take part in this contest.
I have to write a post on a funny incident that has happened as part of being married. Being married to PR I have truck loads of stuff to write about.

Today is the last day to submit for this contest and I am forcing to write this post cuz of two things.
The lucky winners get

  • A free copy of Yashodhara Lal's book 'Just Married Please Excuse'
  • 10 Delhi based bloggers get to have lunch at the new Mamagoto restaurant opened up in Gurgaon. I Love Love Mamagoto food. I got to the Saket City Walk mall just to have food at Mamagoto. 
I mean for a good book and awesome awesome oriental food, I'd sell my soul.. :)

Yashodhara in her blog post said that we should write an incident but I'm gona go above and beyond  and write more than 1 and also about an incident that happened to close friends of mine. 

Incident 1

Its been a month since PR and I had been married and we had gone shopping. I was the one shopping and PR was there to hold the bags. 
He met a colleague there and this is how he introduces her to me

Sonia meet ABC, we worked together.

This is how he introduces me to her

ABC meet Sonia, we studied together. 

I nudged him and reminded him that we are married and he went

'Oh crap!! She's my wife too!! Note to myself!! I'm married!'

Incident 2

PR and I were used to sleeping alone in the bed. However being married, we were forced to share the bed. Don't get ahead of yourself - I'm not talking about anything naughty before you go 'Gross!! ' or 'Nice, we need more details' (The ppl in the second category, stay away from my blog.. :P)

In the middle of a dream, I guess I was fighting dragons and I ended up whacking PR on his face.
The next day PR was like 'What the hell Sonia! I nearly jumped out of the bed'
A couple of days later, PR punches my face in his sleep. I had the fright of my life.  I gave him a piece of my mind without the knowledge of what's gonna happen in the future. I wish I had kept my mouth shut.

Another couple of days later, my alarm on the phone went off in the morning, I snoozed it and went back to sleep holding the phone in my hand. When it rang again, I kind of hit PR's forehead with the phone. Hey!! in my defense, I was shocked to hear some sound  from my hand and I was having a twisted dream and I had to fight the demons.
PR has been going around telling everyone how he's in a violent marriage and is scared to go to sleep every night!! He said  he's gona take his revenge and will catch me by surprise. He said that 2 yrs ago and I'm still sleeping in fear. I'm like Barney being scared of Marshall in How I Met Your Mother for the slapbet!!

What I have learned from this incident is that I'm pretty much ready to attack and fight the dragons and demons if i meet them in real life!! :)

Moving on to my friends, lets just hypothetically call them, Beauty and the Beast.

First of all they got married on Sep 11 and you all know what else has happened on the same date.

On their first anniversary, they took off from work and decided to spend the day together. She was entering their room and at the same time he was coming out and according to him, he gently nudged the door. Well in truth, she went flying across the room and was on the floor.
Beauty was sitting on the floor with her hand on her hand and  Beast was like 'Enought Beauty!! get up and get ready'
Once she removed her hand, she was bleeding like crazy from her forehead.Beast rushed her to the hospital. The doctor attending to her, took her aside and was like 'Is there any domestic violence? Should we call the cops?'  Beauty reassured the doc that it was an accident and nothing more.

When I met Beauty in the evening, she had something hilarious to say. Apparently when her father-in-law came to know, he called her aside and was like ' I know a good divorce lawyer. I'll make sure that you get everything and that worthless son of mine is out on the streets. '

Beast's dad always reminded me of Jasmine's father from Aladdin, all cute and cuddly.

He's so much of fun to hang around with especially when he's had a drink or two.

This is a small snippet of the hilarious chaos that is marriage. I can go on but I need to stop cuz PR is walking around in his boxers eating Nutella out of the tub!!

Upadate: I won the contest!!! Yay!!! Thanks Yashodhara for picking me as one of the winners!!

All pics courtesy of Google

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Ahoy Melbourne!!!

Visiting Australia has always been a goal of mine so when sent a mail  with the subject  "It's your time to visit Melbourne NOW!!" where the winner gets a trip to the land down under – I instantly was like “Challenge Accepted”.  

Since some of you may also be vying for the coveted opportunity I thought I’d start you off with a little friendly advice. Have iterations to your entry! 
On my first attempt I went a little crazy and included over a hundred reasons – from learning to use a boomerang to stalking Hugh Jackman. Many many iterations later and I have cut it down to this …
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you may not have been waiting for – my top picks to why I should visit Melbourne are (in no particular order):
  • 1.      The three Ks
    2.       The great Waugh
    3.       A TV show
    4.       A berry
    5.       and to prove once n for all that Coriolis effect has no impact on a toilet flush

As a child I was captivated by the following creatures from Australia

Koala Bear - I remember my dad buying me my first stuff toy. I was probably around 8 and my parents had taken me to a toy store and asked me to pick a toy. I picked up a Koala Bear stuff toy. I didnt know what it was. I just knew he (Yes! it was a he. He was named Bear. I know, not very original. I had not even seen Breakfast At Tiffany's so I didnt get inspired by that movie either!!!)  was meant for me. I used to hug him every night and go to sleep. 
For the longest time I didnt know that there were actual Koala Bears. I remember seeing them on Discovery Channel and was so fascinated and ever since I 
always wanted to hold a live Koala Bear. Friends of mine who have been to Australia have said that they are the most adorable creatures on earth.

Kangaroo - When you say Kangaroo, the only thing that comes into my mind is Skippy the bush Kangaroo. This was a TV series that I used to watch on Channel 33 as a kid in Dubai. I used to rush back home from school and plonk myself in front of the TV. I used to have Skippy cornflakes (I don't think
the cereal had any association with the show, but I remember that the cover had a pic of the kangaroo and that was enough for me!!) for breakfast. :)

Kookaburra Bird - For those of who don't know anything about this bird , here's a short snippet. They are part of the Kingfisher family and they are famous for their call which sounds like a human laugh. I have never seen or heard one before, other than on Youtube. 
I had this Three Investigators book, The Mystery of the Laughing Shadow, where the Kookaburra bird played a major role. When I read it, I just couldnt imagine a bird having a human laugh and throughout my childhood I thought it was a fictional bird. Years later, when I was bored I searched Kookaburra on Wiki and was surprised to find that such a bird exists.

So if I ever get a chance to go Melbourne, I would love to go see these unique creatures at the Philip island and at the Melbourne Zoo. Won't that be fun???

During my teens, I went through this phase of a cricket crazy Indian but the big difference between me and every other Indian cricket fan was that I had a huge huge crush on Steve Waugh to the point my classmates used to call me Mrs Waugh.

I'm not making this up. I can get my school friends to vouch for this. 
One stop would be at the Melbourne Cricket Ground to check out the Australia Cricket Hall of fame where Steve has been inducted. :)

My recent interest for something Australian is Masterchef Australia which is aired on Star World. PR absolutely cannot stand the show and calls it MasterCrap. I have disowned him for this remark.. :(
I'm a foodie and totally totally love this show. It's only this cooking competition show that I religiously watch. The hosts of this show, especially Gary Mehigan, who is so adorable & is my favorite, are so sweet and polite (so much better than the other versions of the show from other regions!!)
After watching all the seasons of the show, one thing I have been craving to have is fresh Raspberries. I have never ever had them. They look so yum!!! Sigh!! 

I would love to go to the Queen Victoria market and try the wonderful fresh produce available especially yummy raspberries. I have seen the market on the show and its just wonderful to look at all the fresh fruits and vegetables and also try some local cuisine while I'm there. :)

I would definitely go and check out Gary's award winning Feenix restaurant if I have to give an arm and leg for it..

Ok, I want to visit Melbourne NOW!!! PR, do something!!! My birthday, our anniversary is coming up in the near future. I have given you a big hint as to what I want.. :)

PR and those who wana visit Melbourne, check this link, for further info.. 

All pics courtesy of Google

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Damn You Auto Correct

Have you guys checked out ? It is hilarious stuff ppl..

PR has the DYAC app on his phone and we both have a good time reading this stuff. We literally have tears in our eyes..

Yesterday I became one of the victims of auto correct and PR promptly captured it. :)

So here's our addition to the Damn You Auto Correct

Sunday, July 22, 2012

A Cocktail of Super Heroes and Vampire Hunting President

He He He.. I loved the title.. This is my review of the movies that I have recently seen.

The Amazing Spider-man

I personally didnt find anything amaazing about this movie as such.
When you compare it to the earlier spiderman movies, this one is amazing though.. :)
Andrew Garfield was a far better spiderman, humorous like in the comic books and not at all Tobey-Mcguire-I'll-cry-if-say-boo types..
It was cute to see the chemisty of on and off screen couple - Andrew & Emma.

My rating is 3 out of 5

If I had an option to choose my all-time fav comic book superhero movie, it would be The Avengers.. It's brilliant. PR and I have seen it thrice in the theatres.

Speaking of Avengers, the other day Dad pings saying 'Do not disturb, we are watching Avatar in 3d'. I was like (in-my-mind), Avatar was released 3yrs ago but whatever catches his fancy, told him to enjoy the movie.  He calls me during the interval
Papa:What is going on in the movie, who's the angry green giant and who's the man in the red suit??
Me: I was like 'Papa, first of all they are blue giants of the navi world and you need to get your eyes checked!!
Papa: Who's the guy with the hammer?
Me: Are you watching Avatar or Avengers??
Papa:(pauses!! probably searching for the movie poster!!) Oh! It is Avengers!!??!!

My expression were as follows:


When I saw the trailer of the movie it looked fun and peppy. The review on Times of India also was good. I asked PR whether we can go for the movie and he was like TOI says go for the movie with friends so go with them, why torture me?? In btw, PR hates going for hindi movies. I have to bribe him and do what not for him to accompany me for the movie.

I LOVE the Shoes!!
Coming to the movie, the first half was good and the second half was so so. It's a one time watch movie. I feel they should have taken a younger hero like Imran or Ranbir to be the hero. A friend of mine described it as 2 young girls acting with their Maamu. :)  Saif was over the top in this movie. I loved him in Salaam Namaste but for this one he took it 2 notches up and totally grossed me out especially the 'Shelia Ki Jawani' dance.

I was surprised by Deepika in the movie. She has matured as an actress and was smoking hot in the movie.She was just gorgeous. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She was that good.

My rating: 3.5 out of 5

Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

From the title of this movie, you can see that the decision of watching this movie was not mine at all.
I have nothing to say. The movie was as lame as the title. There are some movies which you know is going to be lame just by the name such as Cowboys vs Aliens, Lesbian Vampire Killers and Machine Gun Girl. This movie can be added to the list.

My rating: 1 out of 5

The Dark Knight Rises

I don't know what to say about this movie. It was just bloody brilliant. The movie was a bit intense but thoroughly entertaining. . All Respect to Hans Zimmer for the background score. Anne Hathaway as Catwoman blew me away. She was the best catwoman so far. She was all vampy and catty. 

A good ending to the trilogy.

My rating: 4.5 out of 5

All pics courtesy of Google

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Cupcakes, Earthquake and Brazilian Hair

Now that I have your attention with my post heading.. How u been?? What you been upto??


I have been busy the past couple of months.. I have found my calling in life. 

It is baking people!! 

Errr.. hmmm.. Hang on a minute.. I meant baking in the pastry-chef-sort-of-way and not in a Hannibal-Lector-sort-of-way .. 

  And No I don't have anything dramatic to say like i-quit-my-job-and-opened-a-bakery or something like that. I just bake a lot of cupcakes and cookies in my spare time. 

My First Batch of Cupcakes
 Seeing this, my mom got inspired and made some of her own.. My dad takes a snap and sends it across to me with the caption

Cow-Dung in Plastic Cups
I kid you not.. Those were his exact words.I called him up and he was like, by seeing the pic, how can you prove its actual edible stuff and not cow-dung. All you need to do is to decorate with some cashew nuts and voila.. 

Speaking of my dad, he and my sis share the same birthday and for his birthday this year, she had written a blog post about him as a present. She had asked him to check it out. Find below is his response to her.

I searched for your blog in the internet and as you are not so famous like your sister, I could not locate the blog. please send the nool (thread).

Isn't he the funniest?? 

There was an earthquake in Delhi a couple of months back.

Image courtesy of xkcd

 I called up Dad to inform him that I'm fine.  He was like, 'I'll give the phone to your mom. Freak her out!!' I spoke to her and told her i'm fine and I think she ran out of what to say so she asked me like all moms do  'Did you have your lunch?' My dad from the background.. 'So that you have the satisfaction of knowing that your daughter's stomach was full before she meets death is it??!!??'

So let me check, I have covered Cupcakes and Earthquakes. Only thing remaining is Brazilian Hair...

At work, I sit right next to the printer. I normally don't pry into what people are taking printout of. Someone had taken a print of a candidate's resume. Two words caught my eye aka Brazilian Hair. I waited till the end of the day and took it out and read. It was hilarious...

This is not something that you normally see in the resume of a developer in the IT industry. I don't think this is something that you would see in any resume..

Before I end this post, I would like to say the following.

A) Go watch The Avengers!! It's like the coolest movie ever ever made.. I saw it twice and still can't get enough of it.. Iron Man and The Hulk are so so awesome!! I love Senor Downey Jr... 

B) Isn't this the most exquisite and most lustful heels like ever??!!??

It is mine!! All Mine!!! MY PRECIOUS!!!! :)

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Birthday Special

I got my share of cake and ate it too. :)

It wasn't me who ate the bits from both cake pieces.. It was PR..  I swear!! :P

Since it's a special day I had to have some purple.. But then again I don't need a special day to have purple..

I totally love this sandal and the nail paint...

My sis called me up at 12 to wish me. She was like 'Happy Birthday!! Remember you are beep yrs old and are getting older.. Anyways have a gr8 day!!' Just like any annoying- much-younger-who-still-has-her-whole-life-in-front-of-her sister!! 

My response was 'F*$% Off' and I hung up on her.. 

PR gave me the following stuff

Totally loved both the cards!!

PR has good taste when it comes to jewelry

Always wanted a white clutch!!

And then he gets me this...

An Incredible Hulk T-shirt. Cuz apparently I remind PR of him in terms of Hulk's size and rage.. :P
I have decided to wear this T-shirt whenever I go out with PR to tell everyone what I've been married to.. To add insult to injury, he got me a size L and was like if it doesn't fit you we can exchange for a bigger size.. :D

But I forgave him and decide to stick with him because he got me this:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you  the new love of my life..

Isn't it gorgeous?? Pure Lust!!

I was on Cloud 9!!!

PR took me out for dinner to this awesome restaurant name Drift. Had the most yummilcious hummus like ever and delicious spaghetti. Mind you I lived most of my life in the Middle East and never had such tasty and mouth-watering hummus... 

To top it off, for dessert we had this gorgeous Lemon tart!! 

I was never a lime-dessert kind of person. 

ME: If it were not for you, I never would have tried any lime based dessert and would have missed out on this yummy tart.
PR:Thanks!! If it were not for you, I wouldn't be married and would not be missing out on all the beautiful HOT girls out there...

That's PR for you!!! 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Romance Didn't Die - HE KILLED IT!!

Warning!! This post contains pearls of wisdom by PR.

I'm not making this shit up!! PR has actually said the below stuff..

So the other day PR was acting like a child. Wait a minute.. Its PR.. He acts like a child all the time.. I need to shout at him to pick up his socks and God knows what not.. Sometimes I don't feel like I got married..  more of like adoption of a child.. :P

ME: Aren't you ashamed that your wife treats you like a child?
PR: No. I'm just ashamed that I have a wife.

I was just flabbergasted. I didn't have anything to say...

We were had gone for a vacation and were on our way back home on the day of our wedding anniversary..

ME: Baby! Are you sad that we are travelling on our anniversary?
PR: No. I'm just sad that I have an anniversary..

I didn't push him off the moving vehicle just because it was our anniversary.

I have this - I wouldn't necessarily say annoying but PR vouches for it, for asking inane questions like 'How much do you love me and stuff like what would you do if I went missing?' You know normal random questions. So the other day I asked just before we went off to sleep

ME: Baby! How will you feel if I woke up dead tmrw?
PR: Then I would be married to a Zombie.. Speaking of zombies, what does a vegetarian zombie say?
ME: I don't know...
PR:(with hands stretched out) GRAINS!!

Have you guys tried out KFC's virgin mojito's?? It's awesome stuff!! It's PR's fav drink. So the other day we were at a mall and PR wanted to have the mojito and he went off to KFC. 5 mins later he comes out shouting

'KFC is out of Virgins!! Only Sluts available!!'

What am I supposed to do with this guy? I mean he just comes up with random stuff on the spot.

Like his description of the Jasmine tea I had in this post.

'Water that was collected at the base of a mushroom growing on the side of a tree which was peed on by a passing squirrel.'

That's all for now..

Oh yeah! One more, while I was writing this post, PR happened to walk past by and he was like

'You are gona become famous because of me and my antics just like that dude who wrote Marley & Me. Like Marley, I will also have pretty girls coming up to cuddle & pet me. Don't you dare get me neutered like they did to Marely. That's it Sonia, I'm warning you "NO MORE SEZ" ' :P

Pics except the 1st one is courtesy of Google!!